Thursday, 22 January 2009

How low can you go?

Haven't had time yet this parliamentary session to take forward the issues I first outlined in my Children (Protection of Privacy) Bill, but if I needed anything to get me fired up about it again, it's this story from today's Mail about a mother who says she doesn't love her child. What on earth is the woman thinking of?

The report says she "is tortured by her terrible secret" - i.e. the secret she is now broadcasting to the entire Mail readership. "Not only is there an indescribable guilt, she also feels devastated that her daughter is missing out on such an important bond". So devastated that she wants to add to her child's sense of hurt by confirming it in public. She has reassured her "lovely, intelligent" daughter that it's not her fault, she hasn't done anything wrong to make Mummy feel this way. Well that makes it alright then.

The Mail shouldn't have published it. They could have done the same story without identifying anyone. Imagine being a kid and being asked to pose for a photo to illustrate a story about your own mother not loving you. I know some people will say, like they do with the Jeremy Kyle show, that it's up to the adults involved; if they want to reveal such stuff in public, they should be free to do so. But where does this kind of thing stop?


Guthrum said...

Its the Mail Kerry don't worry about it- half of it probably made up and plenty of money was exchanged.

Can you please turn your attention the mass unemployment and failing economy

yellowbelly said...

How low can you go?

I dunno, The State getting children to spy on their parents seems pretty low though!

The Bristol Blogger said...

The Mail doesn't make things up. It might have poor taste and dodgy politics but it's journalistically excellent poor taste and dodgy politics.

Remember Remember said...

Ah yes, one of daily hundreds of minor "human interest" stories to cower behind.
I'm more curious in what you're aiming to do to please us to prevent us rioting like they are now doing in various EU countries (and your BBC isn't showing).
(hint: MORE laws and troughing will only irate us further so it's got to be l..s laws and l..s troughing!)

Kerry said...

Fewer laws. Edukayshun!

Dick the Prick said...

I dunno, I think it's quite brave of her. Some people don't recover from either ante or post natal depression. It's just one of those things. Subjects shouldn't be taboo just because they're inconvenient.

Kerry said...

Inconvenient? How about 'hugely emotionally damaging to the child'? Could have been discussed without names or pics or other identifying information. Glad to see that most people posting comments agree with me. Anyone know how to get those approve/ disapprove arrows on here, or is that a technological step too far?

Dick the Prick said...

Whoa, bit of an over reaction. I fostered kids for 7 years and as a rule of thumb, kids whose parents treated them in ways that beggar belief seem to receive an inversley ptoportionate amount of love from the kids.

I was watching the Shannon Matthews thing with a mate and her foster kid (we live in Hudds) and at the 1st press conference, the lad who's 11, hardly glanced at the telly and said 'she doesn't love her'.

Fostering is strange if you do it for a while, it doesn't help to love them. May seem callous, but when social workers have to work within the law and aim to send kids back to their natural when everyone - absolutely everyone knows it's morally wrong, then why should the foster carer put themself at risk and provide continuing care when their judgement amounts to nought? It's a job.

Better to be in a family without love, than many many alternative situations.

Old Holborn said...

Friend of mine did fostering.

Scary stuff.

She looked after a three year old who had been taught by her "mother" to dive under the skirt of the nearest woman and perform an act if she was hungry. That was the only way way she would be fed.

Dick. Respect.

Kerry said...

That's not very believable. OH has a friend?

Dick the Prick said...

Well, it bought my house. There's a load of families that can survive without love - it's almost like love is a tradeable commodity which means nowt. After the 2nd year (4th kid) I never said it and they never expected it. However, the cake budget never diminished, neither did the pointless museaum visits - it does more harm than good to love them.

Unflinching stability and a warrior in their corner. Weber and the tedious incrementalism of life. Yeah, we've got love - how to broach a 10 year old with the idea - "yeah bud, but you know your mum doesn't love you" - is blatantly rude, obvious, necessary in my view and vomit inducingly welched about.

Love unmoderated don't beat friendship.

And please, don't think foster carer's are good - we're not - we're paid well and do a job. Next.

Dick the Prick said...

Chatted to me mum about this. Yeah, well, ok, she agrees with you. I know i'm lucky. Here's to you Kez, I'll shut up. Blah, blah.