Sunday, 21 December 2008

Comment of the week

Sorry, bit late with Comment of the Week, which you have no doubt been eagerly anticipating... There were three serious contestants in the race this week, starting with:

Window Licker: "I'm amazed you're speaking about Olive Oil as if it's of any interest to me. Me being a traditional Englishman who has roast beef on Sunday and Cod 'n' chips on Friday. I'm sure you're not too familiar with my type."

Disqualified because he sounds exactly like my Dad, and is describing exactly what my family did pretty much every week while I was growing up. And also because I've been carrying out an informal survey ever since this comment, and shops in Stapleton Road - Britain's "Most Dangerous Street" - sell olive oil. The shop round the corner from me which keeps the coffee stored behind the counter so the junkies don't nick it, sells olive oil. So I don't think this 'olive oil as the epitome of poncey middle-classness' shtick quite works.

"Is it a pre-requisite to be absolutely barking in order to become the MP for Bristol east?"

Well, my predecessors include Stafford Cripps, a vegetarian teetotaller who started each day with a ice-cold bath at four in the morning, and Tony Benn, a vegetarian teetotaller who as far as I know, doesn't. I mentioned the vegetarian teetotaller stuff in my maiden speech, but chickened out at the last moment of mentioning Stafford's cold baths, or owning up to being a vegan (as it was, I still got boo-ed by Stephen Pound).

So the winner is - cue fanfare!!!!!!

"Alexandra is a better singer than you are an MP, in fact, Chico is a better singer than you are an MP. You ghastly snob."

Not intended to make me laugh, but it did.


timbone said...

Congratulations classisms. This woman gets better since she closed her blogs, well, no, just became more selective.

Anonymous said...

Sir Stafford Cripps was, in true hereditary Labour style, Beatrice Webb's nephew.
Small world isn't it!

Anonymous said...

No surprise either that Cripps was a relative of the woman behind 'Soviet Communism: A New Civilisation?', possibly the stupidest book ever.

But then it did come out of the Fabian Society didn't it?

The only vaguely amusing thing I know about Cripps is that he's reputed to have once said to Ernest Bevin, "the trouble with Herbert Morrison is that he is his own worst enemy".

"Not why I'm alive he's not," replied Bevin.

Morrison, of course, was Peter Mandelson's grandfather ...