So, this is the last of the Labour Conference Specials. Tomorrow we will assemble, looking absolutely wrecked (or in some cases still being absolutely wrecked) and we will sing the Red Flag and go home happy. BBC News has just (at 3.45am) broke the news that Ruth Kelly is to stand down from the Government; I got that news by text at 2.16am, and not from anyone in 'the inner circle' either. The Beeb's on-the-scene journos are probably wrecked too.
Anyway, on to the quiz. For the last couple of years Sky have published a conference Top Trumps pack. Last year was more fun, giving points for most charismatic, best-looking, etc. The young men in the Cabinet pretended they didn't take it at all seriously, but were all secretly checking out their scores. This year it's all about expenses and Google hits and how much they'd get for their memoirs, but they also have a brief description of the politicians in question. So, have a go at guessing who these are. (They're all frontbenchers, from the three main parties).
1. "Mary Poppins' mum"
2. "Image-obsessed, no-nonsense nanny"
3. "The wittiest political speaker of the times, inside and outside the House"
4. "Rising government 'glamour puss' prone to exposing her briefs"
5. "Proves you don't have to be young to be good"
6. "Heart-melting, blokish and Northern"
7. "Super-confident, sometimes cocky, less shrill than he once was"
8."Sometimes too clever by half, but he's set for great things if he develops a more populist tone and steers clear of smugness"
9. "Bright and likeable, he talks to the public in words they understand"
10. "Cameron-like or Cameron-lite?"
11. "Posh but cool"
12. "Battles through parliamentary squalls like a teacher in an unruly classroom"
13. "Small and perfectly formed... but perhaps too independent (or oily) to prosper permanently in politics"
14. "As sharp as a blade and currently underrated"
15. "Combative and diminutive.... frustrated that his talents have not been properly recognised"
I am tempted to make up a few of my own too, but that might get me into trouble. You can if you really want to.