Paperclips

A blast from the past, from the Tory leadership contest:

David Cameron: If David wins, I will serve in any capacity he wants. I have been loyal to every leader of this party since …
Adam Boulton: Overseas Development or anything like that?
David Cameron: Very happy, very happy, absolutely, paper clips, I’d be happy to do it.
David Davis: I promise you not Overseas Development, you wouldn't do Overseas Development. (Sky News, 24/11/05)

Freak Scene

"By-election stage collapse fears" reports the BBC. Nothing to do with saving DD embarrassment, I'm sure.

Out come the freaks*

A quick peek at Tom's blog reminded me that tomorrow is DD's moment of glory. I'd forgotten, along with virtually everyone else.

Here is the full list of candidates, with links to some of the more 'interesting' ones.

Grace Christine Astley - Independent
David Laurence Bishop - Church of the Militant Elvis Party
Ronnie Carroll - Make Politicians History
Mad Cow-Girl - The Official Monster Raving Loony Party
David Craig - Independent
Herbert Winford Crossman - Independent
Tess Culnane - National Front Britain for the British
Thomas Faithful Darwood - Independent (http://tomwood44.web.officelive.com/default.aspx)
David Michael Davis - Conservative
Tony Farnon - Independent
Eamonn "Fitzy" Fitzpatrick - Independent
Christopher Mark Foren - Independent
Gemma Dawn Garrett - Miss Great Britain Party
George Hargreaves - Christian Party
Hamish Howitt - Freedom 4 Choice
David Icke - No party listed
John Nicholson - Independent
Shan Oakes - Green Party
David Pinder - The New Party
Joanne Robinson - English Democrats: Putting England First
Jill Saward - Independent
Norman Scarth - Independent
Walter Edward Sweeney - Independent
Christopher John Talbot - Socialist Equality Party
John Randle Upex - Independent
Greg Wood - Independent

According to the BBC webste, the Church of the Militant Elvis Party candidate, "Lord Biro", 'wants to overthrow the capitalist state, which he blames for turning the singer Elvis Presley into a "fat media joke". He thinks US President George W Bush is the anti-Christ who will trigger Armageddon. Other policies include imprisoning Cherie Blair to stop her reporting details of her sex life and placing CCTV cameras in Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg's bedroom.'

DD is going to win, of course. But what's the turnout going to be like? And just who from this talented field is going to come last?

(*Jill Saward excepted. I'd vote Jill.)

A near miss

I liked this anecdote from Tom Harris' blog:

'Yesterday, while waiting for my ministerial driver, Bob, to pick me up at Members’ Entrance, I spied DD and a journalist chatting in the middle of New Palace Yard. Bob had to swerve to avoid hitting him. “Watch out, David,” I called. “We don’t want any pointless by-elections, do we?”'

So who's next?

Had a chat with a tame Tory before leaving Westminster tonight. It does seem that DD really is off on 'a frolic of his own' as we lawyers would put it, and that the other David is not at all happy about it.

Presumably those Tories who are now praising DD's bold and principled decision will soon be following suit and announcing their own by-elections?

The real reason for David Davis' resignation

No, I have absolutely no idea what he's playing at.

I can however report that the universal reaction at Westminster when the news broke was that it must be David "TC" Davies, the newish MP for Monmouth, who is widely regarded as being more than a little loopy. (The one with the Land of Hope and Glory ringtone). In fact I was at a reception at No. 10 last night, talking to Hamish Sandison, who is standing against TC in Monmouth at the next election. Hamish manages to pull off the admirable feat of being a very English-sounding barrister with a very Scottish name who lives in Wales: in Monmouth, in fact. He was telling me it was pure joy standing against TC because he does and says so many mad things.

Anyway, it turns out not to be TC but his rather more famous namesake. "Without an e" as he's known. (Speaking of which, who can forget his leadership campaign, with the two young women in extra tight "It's DD for me" T-shirts?). My suspicions and opinions at this stage are as follows:

- Either David Cameron is in on the whole thing, but the plan is to distance himself from it, just in case it backfires; or DD has forced David Cameron into it, which is a totally bizarre state of affairs. Nick Robinson has just said on BBC News that Cameron's description of it as "a courageous personal decision" is code for "bonkers".

- I don't think the fact that the Lib Dems have been squared off, and agreed not to stand in a by-election they could potentially win, is a good move on their part - I thought their line was that they were the true defenders of civil liberties, and the Tories were only playing party politics on these issues? Seems weird to cede the ground of defender of civil liberties to David Davis of all people. If they'd refused to take part because it's all an ego-driven stunt, then I'd entirely endorse that - I'm leaning towards the view that Labour should do that too. Why play his games?

- The result of any by-election will be completely irrelevant to the 42 days question. Opinion polls show that a majority of the public are in favour of 42 days, with appropriate safeguards. I would imagine that in a safe(ish) Tory seat, there would be an even bigger majority in favour. DD faces a real danger that Tory voters in his seat won't see the point of turning out - or could even vote UKIP or BNP in protest. If he gets re-elected it will probably be with a greater percentage majority, as the Lib Dems aren't standing, but with a greatly reduced turnout. What does that prove?

- And on a cautionary note, I would just say one word - Winchester.