Sunday, 26 July 2009

Top Gear Tories - but what if he'd said yes?

In my fit of outrage at the Tories' hypocrisy vis-a-vis Lord Sugar, I completely overlooked the most ridiculous and hypocritical element of their bid to recruit Jeremy Clarkson as a transport adviser. What does Jeremy Clarkson do? Answer - drive very expensive cars, very fast. And hates anyone who tries to stop him. What kind of message does that send out about future Tory transport policy? Let's have some fun - what would the Tory transport manifesto look like if Clarkson had actually said yes?


CllrTim said...

Well we know he's against Speed bumps, pillows, cushions, rails, cameras, signs and indeed limits. So they're out. Road markings too.

The UK has half a million touring caravans so that's a lot more people criminalised overnight.

As a committed and practising sexist of the first order I imagine a number of draconian new laws on 'women' and the road.

And car manufacturing subsidy and import tariffs will now NOT be based on environmental concerns but will be determined by middle aged mens (good news for me) assessment of how 'cool' they are. This could also relegate the role of women to drooling arbiters of male 'vehicular' sexuality. So it's nice they still have a role.

Bevanite said...

Cutting congestion charging, cutting LEZ, cutting investment in public transport -while raising fares, scrapping functional buses for pretty ones. And clearing the m25 for a boys day out racing.
Sound familiar Londoners? (alright bar the last one)

Kerry said...

From Ian on Twitter:

@KerryMP -he also said there should be a lane for the rich because we have one for the poor (bus lanes apparently)

Bevanite said...

Those stinking peasant wagons.
And no walnut panelling to adorn them-how horrific.

timbone said...

I think that Jeremy Clarkson sets a very bad example. I have a little button on my dashboard which says 'CITY' and if I push it the steering goes light as a feather so that you can negotiate tight spaces. Because of Clarkson however I call it a 'girlie button'. I have even been known to pull up at bus stops, wind down the window, and inform the queue that I have a 'girlie button' in my car, and if I see a blonde bimbo ask her if she would like to get in and try it out!
That last bit is not true of course, but if it was I would say that Clarkson told me to say it!

timbone said...

PS Clarkson told me to say blonde bimbo as well