Saturday, 18 April 2009

Range life

Have decided that Range life is going to be default option for a title whenever I'm just space-filling by blogging about the mundanities of domestic life, and generally over-sharing. At the moment I'm having an absolute feast - a bowl of organic tortellini filled with tofu and spices, chunky pieces of courgette and mushroom, and edmane beans in chilli soy sauce. Come Dine with Me is on in the background, and the one task I have left to do today is dispose of the huge pile of newspapers in the hallway in the appropriate environmentally sound way. I also have to deliver some leaflets for Paul Smith which won't take long. And then I'm off to the Zimbabwean Independence celebrations in Lockleaze, also with Mr Smith.

As this post has so far comprehensively failed to feed the trolls, despite its coded references to veganism and recyling, and a possible opportunity to throw in a ZanuLab or two, let me share this discovery with them. My bubble bath has these intructions on the side: "pour under running water and enjoy a ten minute soak". No doubt the result of a new EU Directive prescribing the optimum length of such a pleasure, soon to be enforced by draconian laws and CCTV cameras installed in every bathroom to ensure compliance. It's an outrage.


Bristol Dave said...


Oh for God's sake.

Is that like sauces being "lovingly drizzled" or potatoes "thoughtfully parboiled"?

Next they'll be talking about about "symphonies" and "medleys" of things, "on a bed of", with "jus" and "coulis".

Other "helpful" phrases include "oven-baked" (what else would you bake it in?) and "pan-fried" (ditto).

timbone said...

I don't know about Bristle (notice the local dialect), up here in Manchesta (see, I am cosmopolitan) we have four bins, well, we do in Trafford. Now I quite enjoy sorting my rubbish (takes my mind off leaks and smears), but I absolutely hate the term 'carbon footprint'. I can see it now - 'that timbone left us some wonderful youtube, but what an awful carbon footprint he had' - or - 'that timbone, thank goodness we will not be getting any more of his patheteic youtube. The only thing worth remembering him for is his carbon footprint'.

CCTV cameras installed in every bathroom? ...mmm... let me think...yes, an outrage. Might help unemployment though.