Friday, 1 August 2008

World leader pretend

One very persistent correspondent has been sending the same email to all MPs for the past few weeks now.

It starts like this:

Only addressed persons should view this letter. All low-level staff does not have right to delete or stop this letter. Please note that it is an unpardonable crime.

Dear Gordon Brown,

Good day to you.

Your Roman Catholic Christian Pope Benedictus – XVI (Joseph Ratzinger) of Vatican City recently remarked that – "Alas! There exists now spiritual vacuum in the world".

Why so?

"Because, prominent World Leaders like you became utterly selfish people (far, far beyond the normal allowable limits with highly deplorable don't care attitude). Even though I wrote hundreds of letters requesting you to help me to rise up as another World Leader, alas! You always ignored or neglected my letters for the more than last 2 years.


1) For rising up as a World Leader, please give me at least 100 Millions pounds immediately.

Please note that this amount is the minimum amount for rising up as a World Leader. Please note that the amount that I am requesting you to give me now is a far, far less amount than the total military expenditure that you have spent for the last 10 years or so.

2) Provide for free to and fro air-travel today from India to London, without any passport and visa restrictions. Also no security checks please.

3) Provide for free (vegetarian) boarding and lodging.

4) Please deposit 30,000 pounds in my savings account given below (as pocket expenses).

He's not asking for much, is he? And I like the bit about vegetarian board and lodging. If anyone has a spare £100 million (and the rest), let me know and I'll pass on his details.


Jay said...

Oh dear, it's Tony, isn't it, pushed to desperate measures by Cherie's nagging for more dosh?

Kerry said...

Well if it is, he's using someone else's photo.

Jay said...

Lol - well, he would, wouldn't he?

Jay said...

I think that I should make it clear that my first comment was tongue in cheek. Kerry's response appeared to indicate that she didn't realise that. I chose, however, to interpret her post as having realised it and my second post was also tongue in cheek.

God, it's hard work. Let's put it down to the difficulty of communicating on paper.

Elmer Quigley Gooseburger said...

Whoever he is, he could not possibly do a worse job than the current unelected, dissembling, monocular war criminal in charge.

I reckon he should be given a crack of the whip.

Terry said...

Kerry, this chap has provided us with a considerable amount of amusement in recent weeks. I particularly like the demand for vegetarian lodgings. In truth, and you'll have to take my word on this one, the pic he attached to the emails is the spitting image of the delivery driver from Ali Baba kebab house in Dewsbury - baseball cap to boot! What a star.

Kerry said...

Terry - I think you need to publicly confirm that you're not the same Terry who has been commenting on my smoking blogs.We had a running joke in the office that it was in fact you, but Francis wouldn't let on. (See Smoke It, Cigarettes and Alcohol, and Insight for a few examples of Terry's wit and wisdom).

Kerry said...

Actually Terry, you could just look at my latest post on Georgia, to which "Terry" has responded with this:

Terry said...
A Labour govt that now gags England football managers. The sooner we are rid of these control freaks the better. I hope they rot for 30 years.

Terry said...

Not guilty in the slightest - but I'm ever so pleased that my nicotine addiction provides Francis and co with some amusement during their brief respite from Facebook during the working day. Keep blogging and tell my boss we need a new website!

Kerry said...

Yes, you certainly do - but I kind of quite like the fact mine is better than his!

Tell him if he doesn't get it sorted soon, I'll tell everyone what his Top Ten favourite songs are by posting them on here. That should do the trick.