I can't remember the last time I arrived back in Bristol in daylight on a Thursday.
I usually get back just in time to channel hop between Question Time and Newsnight, end up staying up for that Andrew Neill programme, and always think why did I bother? But today we were on a one line whip, and after 90 minutes of Bill Committee, asking a couple of questions in the Chamber, meeting up with Worldvision, doing a quick TV interview on kiwi fruit (about which more later), dealing with most of my emails and signing some letters, I made it to Paddington for the 3 o'clock train. So I am now semi-horizontal on my sofa, with the french windows open and a cool breeze blowing in from the river, and nothing to do except update the website and blog. I appreciate this demonstrates a total lack of hinterland, as Denis Healey would put it, and that I should be taking the opportunity to visit an art gallery or museum, or play a musical instrument, or read Victorian poetry. I might just stretch to watching that Gok Wan programme* at 8pm although it is bound to be really annoying.
I have a theory about the name Denis/ Dennis - that Denis is the middle class, and Dennis the working class spelling of the name. So on the one hand you have Denis Healey, Denis Macshane, Denis Thatcher; on the other, Dennis Skinner, Dennis Wise, Dennis Waterman and Dirty Den. I am sure this theory could be demolished if subjected to the slightest degree of scrutiny, but I am sticking to it until convinced otherwise.
*I am now rather embarrassed at having mentioned this. Can I place on the record that I lasted all of 5 minutes and then switched over to the football.